Management: “I just returned from the offsite…”
Me: “Oh. You were gone?”
Management: “…We’ve decided to replace our old process with a new process…”
Me: “We had a process?”
Management: ”…The new process is C&M. Here is an example, learn it!”
Me: “This is Fig-Newton wrapper with a circle and three lines drawn across it”
Management: ”Training will be offered soon. In the meantime implement this new process in all of your work.”
Me: ”You gave me a FIG-NEWTON WRAPPER you moron!”
Management: ”Thanks. I’m off next week to a trade show to learn about technology to help us implement our new process.”
Me: “Wait! At least tell me what C&M stands for?”
Management: ”Capricious & Arbitrary. Bye!”
Me: “But Arbitrary starts with an A!”
Management: “That’s right. It wouldn’t be arbitrary if it started with an A. Must I teach you everything! Now get back to work. I’ve got to go have a three hour lunch meeting with a vendor.”