Regina and I visit her home country of Malaysia every other year. The year was the first opportunity for us to take both of our children. We were looking forward to the family, food and the respite from everyday life in the U.S. Regina and I thought it would be a good idea for her and the children to remain in Malaysia for an extra two months to give a Alexander an opportunity to learn more about his Chinese heritage and to practice speaking Chinese. I also harbored a secret desire to live as a bachelor for a few months.
The idea of bachelorhood sounded glorious. A return to the time of no diapers and no wife. Just me and all my selfish needs attended to everyday. I could go to movies, shop at Fry’s. Play video games to the wee hours of the morning. Stare at a gorgeous woman walking down the street without fear of reprisal from a spouse. All these things and more made me excited about the time home alone.
Home alone turns out not to be fun. It has been years since I’ve been single. Indeed I’ve probably never been single in my entire life. I’ve always had a family, girlfriend or just friends who were no more than just a shout away. Now I am in a big house with empty sounds. The sounds of the wind rattling the windows, creaks here and there that go un-noticed during the hectic and frenetic pace that is family with a three and six month old child. I am faced with a deafening silence and like some cheap B horror flick the silence is sapping the excitement and will to do anything more than just sulk and miss my darling family.
I suppose I had deluded myself into thinking being single would be fun. I imagine a life of a bachelor. It turns out that while I am alone in this big house I am not a bachelor. I am happily married and while I may have the time now to do all those chores I’ve been putting off (and I’ll get around to it Regina). I don’t have the liberty to go out an troll. I’m not about to go to the bar and chat up some single thirty something.
So hear I sit, sleep and work with every waking thought and every breath thinking of my wife and my two adorable sons just waiting with a sad anticipation for the day we return. I love you Regina, Alexander and Ethan and miss you all so very much.